This was written 9 years ago… a story that was

When I was 11 years old, my mother left for Israel to work there for financial reasons. I understood but at the back of my mind I was questioning God why. I grew up with people knowing that I was ok. I was cheerful but deep down insecurities, doubts, feeling of not belonging filled my mind.

Just like any other child, I dreamt of becoming somebody, I wanted to be a doctor. I remembered filing every application form for college entrance exams with premed courses like BS Biology, Behavioral Science, Medical Technology. It seemed as if I knew what I wanted but I don’t. I’ve searched for my purpose, do I really want to be a doctor? How come answers weren’t there? Aren’t Sunday school enough? How about church attendance, & youth ministry?

During this time, I was becoming active with Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC). I was happy because at last I felt I belong. After sometime I joined the Discipleship Committee and God entrusted me with people to bible study, at the same time someone was handling me. I also got involved with various activities like classroom evangelism, dawn watch, sisterhood, familyhood, all-night prayer, leadership trainings (LTI) and short-termed mission trips. I got busier as the new Fellowship Committee Head, organizing and coordinating weekly fellowship and programs when I was on my fourth year.

I was so busy with the kingdom, every act was an opportunity to serve; I felt needed. But God is telling me there is more to that. He wanted me to fix eyes on Him. It dawned to me that at this point that I don’t need to seek anyone’s approval. I knew my significance lies not on what I do, but of what Jesus did on the cross.

Board exam was fast approaching, I was quite anxious because I wanted not only to pass, but also to be on top. The exam lasted for two days. Results were released after 4 days…and I passed. God is truly gracious. What now?

Months after I got my license I filled my time with job applications and interviews. It didn’t come easy, the way I was expecting it. God is teaching me humility, patience, trust, and most importantly to focus on something, MY PURPOSE. A book I’ve read said, “The tragedy of life is not death but a life without purpose.” I started assessing myself. Amidst the busy schedule and pressures I stopped and started thinking. What are the three things that matters most? There are only 3 things that’ll last.. God, His word and the souls of men. If these three are eternal, then how can I invest on them, I thought.
 
The realization that eternal investment is far more important than anything else (2 Cor. 4:18) changed my perspective in life. Now I wanted to spend time on things that will last. Every trial, people, friends, critics, and circumstances happens for a purpose, it all begins and ends with God. We were created to glorify Him, and with these reason we keep on doing things in spite of hardships.

My life testimony isn’t grand, I grew up knowing God, but He changed me in a grand way. My though life, and the way-life changed  and still changing. He is not done yet. I’m far from finishing but when I get there I hope you’ll not see me, but my Maker. Praise be to Jesus! -Nayra

“One life soon it will pass, only what’s done for Christ will last” - C.T. Studd

How can my mind and heart not be in agreement at times. My thoughts of him is becoming a thorn in the flesh. 
I know we’ve talked about this, and you said “NO.”  I’m praying that you’ll  remove what’s left of this thing called “love” in my heart towards this guy. It would be great if we can hasten the process :)

Love,

your daughter